So, you are telling me that I changed …

On By NoémiIn #ThoughtsThursday

Jó reggelt, szevasztok … 

Just a quick thought for today, it’s been running through my mind lately and I had this sudden urge to share it with you.

The good news is that here in Spain I started to feel the creative flow again. Which means I’m back. The blog is back – duh… – The Camino series is back and I have like another 20+ draft articles and ideas pending. So, there’s a lot planned for the future – maybe even a bit too much. Let’s see how I will manage in the long term… I will really try my best, I want this blog to grow, and keep going from now on.

Well… First of all, thank you guys for all the kindness and support you’ve given me in the past few weeks. I have to admit I was a bit scared to post after years of silence … – since I was already promising a comeback 4 years ago, and it did not happen. A part of me wanted to post, yet the other part was worried about maybe receiving hate and dealing with mean comments.
I remember, I was looking at the finished post for days, and then one morning out of nowhere I just clicked on “publish” … And then everything went silent. I was just looking at the screen, and few minutes later the notification button lit up. I was so nervous. Oh my god, it was a “like” … And another one … And one more. Then, the first comment arrived. I was terrified, but it was a nice message. I remember, I just went for a long walk up to Montjuic that afternoon, without my phone, to get away from it all, to disconnect – wow, am I already overwhelmed? I was asking myself…

When I returned home, I saw all the likes, comments, and even private emails…
It made me feel so happy, I was like wow… So this just happened. – and for it, I thank you all!

Some of you mentioned tho’ that I changed. The tone of my posts changed, and the way I write changed.
Yes… I have to agree with you, it did – and I’m actually happy you noticed it too.
I’m not ashamed of my old posts, it was also me back then… I had that sarcastic style, I was cursing a lot – like a looot. I lived my life differently, I was into different things, and I was surrounded by different people… Hell… I was also like 7 years younger – don’t forget that bit – giddy with a big mouth. Sometimes I was angry, disappointed, and even more sarcastic and stingy… Yet somehow, it seemed that my readers liked it, I got the audience for it, telling me it’s entertaining and it’s hilarious. I was trying to keep it this way, rephrase things often, overreact, exaggerate – for the fun…
Now, when I go through my old posts I’m just like… 🤦 Did I really write this down… And post it, but… for real?
Yepp, I did. It’s HERE. – and I’m not gonna change them, certainly not gonna delete them.
That’s also my work, and I was proud of it, and I’m gonna keep it that way – just with the tiiiny bit of a cringe on the side now.

So to sum up – because this is getting quite a long quick thought now… I changed? Yes, I guess you can say that… But I’m still hilarious – obviously… – I will keep on trying to write in an entertaining and personal way. I don’t want to give you just another one of those “top 10 best things to see in Manchester…” kind of articles… so please stick around here with me 🙏 – … unless you do wanna know what to see in Manchester (hint: nothing, you’re welcome)
But yes, I matured, and I enjoy different things in life now. I look at and appreciate my surroundings differently – it comes with age aswell probably, you know… like fine wine. But, I also worked and realized a lot – it takes a bit of effort and courage to face things, to truly accept them, and start working on becoming better – and deep dive into the different healing methods that might help. I think I became a little bit of a better version of myself – or at least, I hope… – and don’t get me wrong it’s an ongoing process. I still struggle sometimes – but who doesn’t …. – my thoughts can go sky high and then free fall to the lowest. But I’m trying to face those moments differently now too.  You should’ve seen me years ago at my darkest – actually… maybe better you didn’t.

… Jó éjszakát, szevasztok!

 

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Ps.: if you enjoyed this post let me know by hitting the ★Like button, and sharing the love on your socials!
… Aaand if you want to hang out with me between uploads then follow me on Instagram for daily and more personal updates!

Pps.: I’m so scared that after bitching about Manchester this much lately, one day you guys will demand a post where I have to write only positive things and try to make you fall in love with the city. Please don’t do that. 😂

 

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30 thoughts on “So, you are telling me that I changed …”

  3. So glad you took the time needed to heal and grow, we all need that it’s just that most don’t do it. I have Bipolar Disorder and when my meds get off I go from mid high to rock bottom. Thankfully a new med is helping and I feel better than I have in over 5 years. Finding your creativity again is such a positive and now you can share your new creative endeavors. I look forward to your next post, don’t push yourself in to full force mode it might affect your mojo. 🙂

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      1. rhonamcferran's avatar rhonamcferran

        (Note: I’m sorry if this is the wrong place to reply to your post– I’m new to blogs, & couldn’t find the comment box! XD)… I just wanted to commend you on having the courage to start blogging again– as the “new” you!! It’s so easy to get trapped in the same old patterns (of what people expect of us), but as Emerson said in Self-Reliance, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds…” So what, you’re different now? Yesterday you spoke your “Truth”… and today you have a somewhat different perspective! Thank God we can grow and change, and I’m SO proud of you for being true to who you are becoming along the way!! Wishing all the very best with this blog (and in life)! Much Love, Rhona McFerran

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  4. I am a new subscriber and I’m cheering for you. I was looking back at some of my old posts today and noticing my evolution. I love that you are embracing the new while honoring the past. Sending you love and light.

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      1. Thank you for the “like.” Glad you’re in good head space, but don’t get hung up on whether readers comment favorably or like your posts. The important things are truth and honesty…whether you’re being positive or negative.

        ”Writing for yourself is self-serving. Writing for others is pandering. You write for the thing that needs said” – Ernest Hemingway

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  6. Nicely written. It’s natural for things to change, and it’s almost impossible to maintain consistency. I experienced this with my readers when I transitioned from being entirely cheerful to gloomy and slightly gloomy. It’s a part of life; sometimes we’re joyful, and other times we’re struggling and need to be true to ourselves.

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  14. ThingsHelenLoves's avatar ThingsHelenLoves

    There must be a Manchester blogger out there who wants to take on the challenge of showing you how delightful the city can be? ( Must confess haven’t been to Manchester, just assuming it has delights)

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  16. Hey, Noemi,

    I’m new to your blog, but I really love this post because I truly resonate with it. Recently, I’ve been caught in a rut of self-doubt, but I believe that a small setback can lead to a strong comeback.

    Cheering for you!

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